Acoustifüko - Lawnchair Lesbians: Live!

by Buttafüko

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Buttafuko Comes Alive!
Live albums were HUGE for me growing up. The big city near where Jeff and I were ‘raised up’ (Inconvenient Elk Scrotum Leakage, NE or Cedar Rapids, IA- depending on who you ask) only pulled a handful of badass concerts per year. Plus my mom wouldn’t let me go to the shows during many of my crucial formative years (If she did, who’s to say I wouldn’t have turned out normal?). Even though I got to see a bunch of killer shows, I LIVED for the live album, where I could relive the experience over and over again. Probably the most monumental was Iron Maiden’s ‘Live After Death’, which you hear liberally quoted and borrowed from in this piece of work. I saw the World Slavery tour on June 19, 1985- 3 months after they recorded the seminal double LP and 4 months before it was released. Marketing geniuses, they allowed me to live this show over and over again on cassette, album, VHS, and finally DVD a few years ago. To date, I’ve listened to it 32 Majillion times.
Since our Podunk town didn’t have the market pull of New York City or Grand Rapids, Michigan, I lived for the live releases of my favorite bands. KISS ‘Alive’ and ‘Alive II’, Judas Priest’s ‘Unleashed in the East ‘and ‘Priest… Live.’ ‘The Alice Cooper Show’, ‘Cheap Trick at Budokan’, Ozzy’s ‘Speak of the Devil’ (for which I credit most of my bass playing hackery- thanks, Sarzo!) and later ‘Tribute’, ‘World Wide Live’ and ‘Tokyo Tapes’ from the Scorpions, Led Zeppelin’s ‘The Song Remains the Same’, the EP ‘Kaizoku- Ban’ from Accept (and I can’t not mention Maiden Japan)… AC/DC ‘If You Want Blood’, Nazareth’s ‘Snaz’, and ‘Live Undead’ by Slayer also spent a good amount of time in my cassette deck or on my record player. There were so many, and these days there are a billion more. Live albums were an excellent springboard if you weren’t familiar with a band. You got the greatest hits in their rawest form. I was hooked and dug deeper, buying up bootlegs where I could find them.
These days, every Jerk-off band puts out live albums and DVDs. You can’t swing a stinking dirty hippie without knocking over a rack of discount Live albums at the truck stop. It’s too easy for a band. They (or “The Label” in the old days) don’t have to pay for studio time, they don’t have to write any new stuff; you can just throw up some mics, get an engineer to hit record and coast for awhile as your band tries to come up with new material that doesn’t suck goat sphincter and will get you more pussy than your washed-up ass deserves. Hey, whatever it takes to keep from having to move into your girlfriend’s mom’s basement.
Thanks to Tesla and MTV Unplugged, there was a massive and successful insurgence of bands putting out live acoustic albums. I have to admit, I am a fan- from Zeppelin’s acoustic sets during their tours in the ‘70s to Guns N’ Roses ‘Lies’, even LL Cool J’s MTV Unplugged performance. I was especially knocked the fuck out when Stevie Ray Vaughan and Joe Satriani did the show. Once again, the shit is easy. Every washed up band or just the lead singer can head out on the road with minimal gear and busk, milking the hits of yesteryear. Throw a stereo board mix onto a cassette tape and ship it out for mass consumption. It’s extremely played out at this point, admit it.
Which brings me to our Jerk-off band. People are always telling us that our last release ‘The Black Album’ doesn’t do us justice and that’s true. As much as I love the studio, we really shine in a live setting. If our studio stuff could actually capture what our live show is like though, our album would be 5 hours long and really only be amusing to Jeff, Blondo, and myself. So we did this thing. It all started several years back when we were going to play a hangover-friendly post New Year’s Eve metal show. What better way to salve the body’s excesses than by playing laid back versions of our catalog? Rehearsals were few and we laughed our asses off at the ridiculous arrangements (since the normal songs are so very serious). We had to share with the rest of the world, not just the folks that were at the Central Saloon in Seattle that night. Played out? Probably. Just another stupid live acoustic album. Easy? Not as easy as you’d think. I put a lot of work into this fucking retarded thing. There’s a brand new song on here that may only ever be available here (‘Dan Got Shit-Faced’). There’re wildly different arrangements of songs from ‘The Black Album’. There’s in-between song rambling and sing-a-longs. There’s a bluegrass arrangement of a metal song that will make its true debut on our sophomore effort (‘Jeff’s new Hi-hat Stand’). It’s practically an album of new material, so suck my taint, ya shitheel. Overall, this is the bastard son of Tesla’s ‘Five Man Acoustical Jam’ and Iron Maiden’s ‘Live After Death’ with the ass-crack dripping semen of our favorite comedy concerts from HBO in the ‘80s (I’m looking at you, Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, and Sam Kinison!). ‘Lawnchair Lesbians Live!’ is a tribute to our influences, who we steal from liberally. It is also our tribute to the millions of bands out there that have played a million shitty bar gigs, it’s kinda like the Spinal Tap of live albums. The first track “Soundcheck” should make everyone who’s been in this situation cringe.
About the title: “Lawnchair Lesbians Live!” Anytime Buttafüko plays an acoustic show, we get our friend Jackie Rome to open for us. She is an amazingly talented singer/songwriter, beautiful, and funnier than shit; she also brings an ass-load of her gay friends to fill the place. Hence the ‘Lesbians’. I think a few of them actually even enjoyed our music, not that I’ve ever seen them at one of our shows that Jackie was not involved in. The ‘Lawnchair’ comes from our former bass player Dan’s choice of seating for the acoustic shows. As for the ‘Live’ part, well, you’re a scientist, you figure it out, fucking Egghead.


released March 19, 2013

Hodgy- Guitars, keyboards, percussion, lead and backing vocals
Jeff G.- Roto-toms, percussion, lead and backing vocals
Josh Blondo- bass guitar, percussion, backing vocals
Polecat- Soundman (as much ball-busting that we do, Polecat does a fine job running sound)
Hugh Munguss (courtesy of The Almighty Needledick)- banjo on ‘Jeff’s New Hi-hat Stand’
Rodney LaDouche – mandolin on ‘Jeff’s New Hi-hat Stand’



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Buttafüko Seattle, Washington

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